Scribble

We upset for not being loved. We scared for not being care. We cried for being abandoned. At the end, we give up to love and care about ourselves, causing a self-abandon phenomenon.

From that point on, we lost passion and happiness.

This is what I hated most. It was just I can’t help myself to fall and get lost in endless sadness. That’s why decades ago I had wished that God had taken away the heart, my heart. This stupid non-stop pumping thing always cause Emotion. Emotion will never bring beautiful thing to me, in fact, it rob a lot away. A lot. I looked around me and just realized that it was not much left for me. World is so big, and I have only myself.

I own nothing now. Not even a little luck or fortune. Not even a small little birthday wish. Everything I long for, seems too luxury to me.

I am sorry for being sarcastic, harsh and even rude to certain extent.

I’ve learned, that it takes years to built up trust, but only seconds to destroy it. I am sorry if I had destroyed those between us. I am sorry if I actually put my life my soul my whole love for you, but I can’t make you realise that, and eventually I had let you feel the other way round.

I’ve learned, that no matter how much I gave I care, some people would just don’t care. I am sorry for keep on blaming, just because not being paid for what I had given.

I’ve learned, that you cannot make someone love you; all you can do is be a person who can be loved, the rest, is out of your control. I should blame myself for not being someone who can be loved, and selfless.

I am not happy. I cant get happy. Not that I am not trying, but frankly, I cant figure out why and how. Perhaps it’s too complicated. Too complicated until it’s out of my control.

But I don’t want u guys to get unhappy. It’s because I love you.

I was. I am. I will.

心情不好 |