蓝石头

为几米的新书打个广告……

诚意推荐：《蓝石头》，几米继《幸运儿》之后最新的长篇画作，绝对值得看。那天我站在书店把书看完（喜欢几米的书，可是图文书都很贵，只能站在店里看啦…），眼眶都红了，还一直醒鼻涕，不懂店员有没有被吓着。

当然我没有蓝石头那么可怜，不过现在的我，是梦想成真的蓝石头^_^

想知道为什么是蓝石头？去书店走一圈吧……

等待天亮

从study week到昨天，实在是太久太久没有好好睡过一觉了。于是昨天早上从BP考完第6张paper回到宿舍，心情一松，躺在床上沉沉地就睡到了晚上。结果，难得不需要熬夜的夜晚，我反而睡不着了。=P

让“小毛球”陪着我不懂过了多久，忽然听到窗外吱吱吱吱的鸟叫声。是天快亮了。前些天的这个时候，在同样的书桌前、同样的窗口旁边，为什么就没留意过这些声音呢？

搁下“老鼠”跑到房外的露台，因为住在5楼，视野还算宽阔。看着天色从原本的黑朦朦，渐渐转成灰蓝，然后，天边就染成了橙黄的色泽，而且慢慢地越来越亮。弯弯的月亮，则缓缓消逝在光亮当中。天气是微凉的，空气中几乎嗅不到灰尘、嗅不到炙热和令人发闷的湿气。有点意外的惊喜，原来，吉隆坡的早晨，也可以很漂亮。或者其实每个地方的每个破晓时分，都是如此美丽的呢？

想起了在童军营的时候，大伙儿在海边一起等日出，踢着沙、追着小螃蟹跑……想起了和朋友在云顶到处寻找空旷的地方，信誓旦旦的说要等待天亮，结果选择了酒店房间……想起了很多个黎明，一班人骑着单车在街上荡着风，让冷洌的风飕飕吹过身体的每一个细胞，在让温暖的阳光驱走寒冷……

还有，也想起了小学的时候，在3楼的科室走廊看着天亮，看着云上的王国慢慢浮现。是啊，你看过吗？在光和影的调和之下，配合云的形状，云上会出现好像小叮当漫画里头，梦幻的云的王国。我看过在连绵的山峦前有一片蔚蓝的海洋，洁白的沙滩，然后海边迎风而弯腰的寥寥几棵椰树。也看过大象、长颈鹿和一些小动物在一片大草原上……

啊…对了，还有中学的时候，在4楼的科室走廊看着天亮，光从树木的背后投射了过来，风飒飒地吹，树叶浮动的同时，形成了美丽的立体图像。是啊，你看过吗？树也会变成精灵，像童话故事里头的树精。我看过一群热情的西班牙女郎在跳着舞（也可能是吉卜赛女郎，你知道我不太会区分传统服装呵）；也看过一对热恋的男女捧着酒杯，不时地交头接耳；还有一只动物，忘了是那种动物，也忘了它在做什么……

哈哈。写了这么多，不懂会不会有人联络精神病院说有人患上了妄想症……

其实想说的是，我们的生活周遭，有太多太多美丽的事物等我们去发现。然而，当人开始为了学业、工作、比赛、理想而汲汲营营地去忙碌时，就会让这一些美丽和感动，从我们的生活中褪色。看看周围的人，看看周围的景色，我们其实活在一个不错的世界，只要懂得去关心。

这一个早上，我突然好像拥抱每一个认识的人。想念大家。

记得坚持到底

试过熬夜挑灯苦读的滋味吗？大概每个学生都有过这样的日子，然后对朋友自嘲自己是“平时不烧香，临时抱佛脚”。别人是不是真的临时抱佛脚我并不知道，不过这个学期，我还真的是见到棺材才开始流眼泪……

5天6张试卷，而且其中3张是我这个学期以来跷得最厉害的课。别人的学期出席率不少过80%，而我（实质上）的出席率则不多过20%。结果就是，别人用4个月的时间去消化的知识、背书的方程式、思考的问题，我只有平均每科不到4天的时间去囫囵吞枣。

想一想，我也觉得自己真的蛮了不起的。哈哈。

而在那些屈指可数的不眠之夜里，我大概领悟到一个还不错的哲学是，即便希望再渺茫,也一定要坚持到底。

话说，昨天的考试，熬了整个晚上，在最后的3个小时自我放弃，赖到床上‘小休’片刻……结果考场上每做一题就多一份悔恨，有一种切腹自杀的冲动。“这个问题……我翻过！”没错，就真的是“刚好翻过”那种，没有熟读…心想如果最后的那3个小时我继续努力，情况也许就不一样了。今天的考试，勉为其难地做剩了2道问题，还有半小时，觉得自己再想下去也不会有答案，要不要就交上考卷回家睡觉呢？于是，把心一狠……不是回家，是继续呆在BP。哈！结果在最后的10分钟竟然就给我想到了解决方式（对不对是另外一回事=P），心里不禁有点小小的高兴。

看吧。坚持到底的话，说不定就等到希望的曙光。

同样的，在情场上，最求心仪的对象，往往只要再坚持多一下，多送一些花，就会有情人终成眷属。但多数人在碰了几次钉子后都会选择放弃，在找另一个目标。在商场上，一份好的策划有时不是一下子就有人赏识。坚持、修改、再坚持、再修改，是大部分成功人士都曾经历的过程。但多数人喜欢东做一点、西做一点，觉得不甚有成就，就一再换工作、换生意，结果最后什么也没有。在辩论场上，即便好像输得一清二白了，只要坚持下去，下一位队友很可能就帮队伍翻盘了。而且你怎么知道总结不能力挽狂澜呢？在官场上，我们当然也常常看到一些政客绝对秉持坚持到底的精神。错了，坚持自己是对的；贪污，坚持自己是廉洁的；说错话，坚持是媒体不秉公报导……当然我们鄙视这种行为，可是人家届届大选狂胜，外加住洋房驾名车，毕竟也是一种“成就”呵。

不过，在赌场上，大家还是最好别坚持到底了。社会的经验法则是，在赌场里面，越是坚持，就输得越精光。赢就赢粒糖，输就输间厂。想保住幸福生活，小小赌一些怡情养性就好了。只有山猪才会相信大赌可以养妻活儿……

总归一句，不要因着路途遥远而黑暗就像放弃，因为我们永远不知道，希望会不会就在下一个路口的转弯处。祝大家考试顺利。祝马大辩论队在亚太舞台大放光芒！

看 电影

前些日子和一班朋友及教练去看了一部电影，片名就叫《电影》(Electric Shadow)。因为当时大家都没有特别想看的电影，误打误撞，就买了部国际影片的戏票。一开始的时候心想，这次注定是要花笔钱在电影院里睡觉了（哈，刚好大家都没什么艺术气息……）。结果，惊喜的发现《电影》真的很好看，即好笑，又细腻感人。

想到电影，就想起中学时代认识了好多好朋友，也都是电影迷。当大家都在为学业冲刺的那段时期，我却是不停地进出电影院。

曾经两个人半夜想看电影，虽然彼此荷包里只剩一张戏票+半杯可乐的钱，还是义无反顾地把身家都捐给了GSC集团。曾经一班7个人吃完Pizza不懂要干嘛，随便选了部戏，结果影厅内就只有我们+一对情侣，看梁朝伟和舒淇谈情说爱。曾经发狂地追踪animation，但凡有卡通片上映就往电影院里钻。曾经自己生日的时候被拉进电影院“庆祝”，而且看的还是我最排斥的恐怖片。曾经为了跟上潮流而跑去看Puteri Gunung Ledang，电影不好笑，但我们有本事把每个情节都拿来自己说、自己笑……

最近读书读得好累，突然很怀念中学的那段时期。很庆幸在学业压力之下，还有一班懂得苦中作乐的朋友陪我度过，那一段日子就这样变得很令人缅怀。

突然好想看电影，突然好想念你们。

Pondering..Surrounded by notes.

A week for study..

Nothing else but study.

When I wake up, I saw notes. Before I slept, I saw notes. While having my lunch and dinner, I deal with notes. There is a popular song sound like this," coffee cannot paralyse loneliness in one..", and for the past few days, I was trying to "paralyse" my drowsiness with coffee, but it seems coffee is resultness on both loneliness and drowsiness.

After all, it brought me headache^_^

Well, it was not utterly awful, at least it gave me time and space to pore on some matter..

For instant, what am I going to do next semester? What is my future aim? My orientation and direction in debate? …

Asia Pacific debate is coming soon. We will immediately plough into training right after the final examination for second semester. So what about the businesses for majoring in second year? No idea. And what about going back to hometown "visit" my family? Don’t know when. I suddenly realize that I had been debate and debate and debate ceaselessly for 2 semester.

It was really nice, doing what you like all days and nights. Until the moment I have some free time to think about it, all at once again I felt lost. I mean, last time I really like to be JieBian.. But now, I don’t know how far I had gone and  I can go for the this position.. I mean, I don’t know how much I had been improved, I just have no idea.. I mean, what is the target I shall set for myself in coming soon APdebate?

For the team, we want to attain to final, and better if together with the chmpionship. But for my own?

Maybe I just need a guideline.. But where is it?

Fine, maybe I just go back to my notes.

Searching for another half of me.

Exam is so near, but I still visited MPH yesterday and bought a book.

书名：另一半翅膀

作者：深雪

It is really boring staying at kolej, in my room facing all kind of notes. I really wanna go insane if there was not a book there to keep me awake and normal. Aihh..But on the other hand, when part of time is spent for reading, meaning that the time left for studying is less.. What am I doing?!?! OMG..is really damn shit spending a whole nite reading but not studying. What am I going to do now?!?! Oh god..I had make a night gone.. I can’t believe it! And I’m onlining?! God..another afternoon gone.. Hey, wait..

Okey, calm down.

Back to the topic, it is actually a nice (story) book. Story line is about a girl, never find her true love, because she was realistic, care about her furnitures’ business more than every of her boyfriends. Also because she felt no one is meant for her. Those guys are not matched with her, neither the taste, hobbies..nor the thinking.

Then an angel came, seperating her soul into 2, to make her another half of her life. A man, come from herself, brought her love and happiness that she never experience. From innocent at the beginning to a "growing-up-adult", the man knew more about life, and knew another girl. He left her. Time passed, she was facing death, the man sensed the disaster, and realised she was half of him. He went back to her side, she managed to survive.

Another angel came. It was "illegal" to make one soul into two…

The end of the story?

Just leave it as a mystery here.

What I want to say is all of us are searching for love in this world. Somes succeeded, somes failed. Somes found someone, but at the end realised that he or she is not my half.

How do u know someone is meant to be with u?

I wonder..

Am I still who I am?

Time flows, people changes.

Yu Keong said I change. Becomes worse? Poh See said I change. becomes worse?

I actually can’t get what is mean by the changes that occur on myself. Is it good or is it bad? Logically when people says like that, it mean bad changes had occurred.. So, am I become a bad bad guy?

How I wish time can froze. How I wish I remain a child. How I wish things not change. How I wish the earth stop turning at the most beautiful point.

However life goes on. Guy, I am still who I am. Still love debate. Still believe in friendship and love. Still prefer happiness than sadness. Still love animation.

Sometimes I face pressure, sometimes I lost, sometimes I lack my confidence..

But, It is ok. Really.

Tak kenal maka Tak cinta

I had read an article few days ago. The writer said that his physic teacher was used to say:" tak kenal maka tak cinta..", in order to remind students on that interests towards study, are always grown from the moment you begin to work hard to understand it.

The final examination for my second semester in University is just around the corner. I was so frustrating, when I began to read the notes from the very 1st page, after a whole sem knowing nothing about studies and lectures.

Suprisingly, I found out that study is actually another kind of fun. (Provided that you are not under pressure of tests and exams.) Learning new things..making short notes..completing exercises..Things that I had been not-doing for centuries, return to my life.

And what I want to express is, every works of these are not burdens. I was so suprised that I really enjoy studying. However, whenever think about exams, books and notes in front of me, transform into monstersss all of a sudden.

Why is it our society have to make every wonderful things becoming not wonderful? Learning is no more to fulfill one’s desires and curiousity on knowledges, but to make sure we are more competitive in the so-called realistic society..

Aihh..Maybe someone will say it is just a problem of thought and attitude. Aihh..but really suffering lar..why we need to get through so so so many examsssss?

Is it I’m not so cinta, because I’m not really kenal? Fine lar, 2 more weeks,have to work hard. Wish that I am able to kenal every of them..The formuli and theories and facts…

Arghhhh!

Came back to normal study life after 18th March 2006. I really can’t get use to situation right now..

Having a lot of assignments, tests, tutorials, and final is coming soon. Getting a C+ in Calculus test, which is a 4 credit hours course. Having my library acoount still being locked, therefore I can borrow no books. Skipping lectures for the whole sem and didn’t pay attention in classes for the whole sem, now got to catch back all the syllabus. And coaches still want to organize a "xuan ba sai" this weekend?!

What a suck! It’s really frustrating!

Aihh..why don’t the government just organize a course named "debate" in University? That will make things easier then.

Sigh..